


A Demons Mate

by PrettyOwl



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: AU, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Angst, Body Change, Demon Mate, Demons, Depression, Drugs, Emotions, Eventual Happy Ending, Fantasy, M/M, Mates, Mpreg, Oviposition, Rough handling, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide, a/b/o dynamics, rough behaviour, slow development, world building
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-09
Updated: 2020-12-13
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:27:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,740
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27977337
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrettyOwl/pseuds/PrettyOwl
Summary: Akaashi doesn't want to continue.His life full of sadness, disappointment and desperation has to end.As he is willing to let go of his miserable existence, a demon enters his lifeand quickly turns everything upside down, that Akaashi has ever known.
Relationships: Akaashi Keiji/Bokuto Koutarou
Comments: 55
Kudos: 85





	1. The End and The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION!
> 
> This Haikyuu BokuAka!AU has elements of suicide, depression, and male pregnancy. 
> 
> If you have suicidal tendencies (or depression), I highly recommend not reading it and searching for help instead!!!
> 
> Suicide is not meant to be romanticized in this story but used as a part of Akaashi's character development.  
> The more explicit parts of this story will come later on.  
> Tags will get updated.
> 
> My Art for the FanFiction:  
> https://twitter.com/PrettyOwl_Art/status/1324041760088203265/photo/1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CONTENT WARNING: SUICIDE!
> 
> Also my native language is not English.

The sun barely peaked above the horizon as a light autumn breeze made its way through the city. Tokyo never slept, lights shining out of numerous apartments in those dozen of skyscrapers, making night owls feel part of a whole, yet so, so alone in the anonymous mass.

He took in a deep, cold breath, watching the night fade from his spot atop his home building, several hundred meters falling down just a few centimeters before his socked toes.  
He had been tired of his life for as long as he can remember. Under pressure since the first word he spoke, trying to live up to expectations no human being could possibly achieve without giving up themselves completely; without a trace of mercy in the eyes of those, he thought he loved.

Another chilly breeze tugged at his black, messy curls. The bags under his eyes were dark and prominent, a fast circuit of thoughts running behind them, caught in an endless loop of „I need to." „I have to." „I mustn't" and „I can't".  
A painful sigh ripples from the young man's lungs. Tears were never an option, at least not to the public eye, always hiding away his true feelings and in the end, hiding from them as well.

He tried to be a good, successful person, he truly did.  
Even though he graduated with A-marks and honors, it was not enough.  
He scored a job as an editor at a big publishing studio, which was very well known and was something, he always wanted to do, but his parents weren't satisfied, since „literature isn't something you should turn your career into.", breathing down his neck whenever they could, telling him about his „bad decisions". Not that they would talk to him anyway after his last ex decided to tell them about his sexual orientation out of pure spite.

The taste of independence never lasted for him to begin with.  
His co-workers were merciless. His boss knew how to exploit him. Between working hours there was barely enough time to sleep and eat, yet take care of himself in any kind of way.  
Even the relationships, that he tried to keep, ended with „you never have time for me anyway", most romantic ones burned down in heartbreak and cheating.

„Where did I go wrong?", he has asked himself so many times, he has lost count. „Why am I never enough?"

When he thought about it- would there be anyone, who would truly miss him? Would there be anyone, who would even notice that he wasn't there anymore?

No matter how hard he tried to imagine, to think of a person, no one came to his mind. Not a single one.

The sting in his heart felt venomous. Despite all the exhausted emotions inside his core, he could still feel the burning disappointment, that never seemed to dissipate, always raging strong in his chest, flame growing with each failing day.

He had thought about seeking out a therapist a few times, but it would always end up in fear of losing his job if he didn't keep up his routine due to doctor appointments and in the end, he didn't believe that any doctor could fix the state he was in any way. Even if they did, he would come crashing down twice as hard, when reality caught up to him again. There was nothing he could do.

Well, nothing but this.

He took a last glance at the rising sun. It was beautiful, but in his exhausted core he could not feel the energy to appreciate the sight before him. Without a shiver, he took off his glasses and placed them next to his shoes, which stood right behind him at the border of the ledge.

Resolve felt good in its own weird way, he thought. Something that he could decide without anyone being able to judge him, at least not here, while he is all alone on top of this building.

Maybe he should have chosen a different location. Maybe he should have gone to somewhere, where no other people, trying to live their normal routine, would be traumatized if they found him, but he couldn't find the will in himself to go even a single tiring step further just to protect the minds of people, he wouldn't see anyway anymore when all of this is over. In a childish, irrational thought he even blamed them for the state that he is in, but that wouldn't matter anymore.

He turned around, petrol blue eyes, green in them colorless and forgotten, closing slowly. He felt calm... or rather numb from head to toe, as the noise of the city and the wind started to fade away from his head. There was a breathless second of stillness, a moment frozen in time.

And then, without another thought, he let himself fall backward, down into his last resort.


	2. The demon called Bokuto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Forced feeding

When he opened his eyes, he could feel, that he was somewhere else. Somewhere warmer, definitely not Tokyo, because no noise of vehicles and city rush was able to ring inside Akaashis ears. But something was wrong. He was not dead, that much he could tell.

He could feel his heartbeat strong in his chest, panicking, that his attempt of taking his own life failed, but he couldn't explain, how he isn't inside a hospital or his own bed at that matter, even though he was covered in brown, not fully rectangular sheets. And he is definitely not in pain. In fact, he has not a single scratch, despite jumping from a 200-meter tall building, that much he could feel. Trying to throw the blankets off in sheer fear of the unknown surrounding him proved more difficult than Akaashi imagined since they were strangely tugged underneath him as well. Feathers flew up in his tossing, gliding down next to the round „bed", that somehow was more of a hole filled with soft stuff, a donut if you will. Or a nest. As the sound of fabric ripping resonated in Akaashis ear, the raven-haired man froze in shock of having destroyed something, that wasn't his, his eyes catching the broken material immediately, but to his ice-cold shock he found, that it laced itself back together flawlessly, closing the rift magically.

For a short moment, the breath got stuck in his throat. Then the panic turned itself into blinding horror. Maybe he did die. Maybe he was in hell for committing suicide and hell turned out to be just like life, only now he would have all eternity to hate himself without the chance to find relief or love in other people. Maybe this was his punishment, bundled up in self-restoring blankets, leaving to rot away with his own thoughts for the entirety of his afterlife.

// _NO--!//_

This was something Akaashi wanted to escape! Hell really can't be that cruel, right?!

Out of desperation and instinct, he wanted to scream for help but found his throat going dry instantly, feeling it constrict, even though nothing was pressing down on his windpipe. He hyperventilated, facing a full-blown panic attack, body searing hot, but sweat cold to the touch, while he struggled against the brown fabric wrapped around his body. Very quickly, he could feel his thoughts slipping away, mind drifting into unconsciousness without anywhere to hold on to, blood rushing loudly through his ears.  
This can't be happening, not to him, please- _no!_

The last things he saw between blurs were huge black wings and massive dark horns, illuminated by something behind them, descending onto the bed without a single sound. He remembered two golden orbs, warm and shining before the darkness covered his brain in another round of dreamless sleep due to the lack of oxygen, shutting down everything to be able to function again at another time.

The next time Akaashi woke up, he wasn't wrapped up in the brown blankets anymore. They were lying beneath him instead, leaving him able to move now, as he tried to push himself out of the fluffy hole, he had been sleeping in.  
A few soft white feathers stuck to his messy curls, as he reached the edge of the bed. Leather or something similar covered the bedframe, neatly sewn together and strong, as Akaashi climbed over it. He nearly lost balance, feeling strangely heavier, as he jumped to the ground, having misjudged the distance, which turned out to be far higher than he imagined.

Now standing next to the bed, he could see it nearly reaching his shoulder, and he wasn't small by any means. Eyebrows furrowed in concern, he let his eyes roam over the side of the bed. Whoever put him in there, must either be very tall or strong enough to have thrown him, but Akaashi doubts that he wouldn't have noticed that.  
On the other hand, he had no memories of how he got here in the first place, so maybe being thrown into a pool of - _soft_ \- wasn't something his brain deemed worth remembering.

Whatever - _here_ \- is.

For the second time, Akaashi thinks he might be stuck in hell. It is far warmer than the black-haired remembered from the first time he woke up, but there was no real sunlight anywhere, even though he could see just fine, maybe a bit dimmed, as if he were in a cave of sorts, considering the stony texture of the walls closest to him as well. He could spot out one or two sources of light in the ceiling, if he dares to call it that, because he couldn't make out how far up the „ceiling" really is, watching the walls turn dark the higher they went.  
Maybe he was inside a volcano-like structure? Stone all around him, really warm and the only bit of - _maybe_ \- sunlight coming from holes very high above him? That would fit the image of hell christian people always talked about, right? Then why was he alone? Where were the other sinners? Where the flames, that would eat up his sad and disappointing being for all eternity? And why the hell was there a bed for him, soft at that too?

The fear made itself noticed again, as it crept up Akaashi's spine. It shook him to the core, as his breathing became faster once more, eyes searching for another hint, where he truly was and how he could get back to his own world. Why he would even want that didn't come to his mind, but he was human after all. Every change hurt and he didn't expect to be conscious after what he did to himself.

After a short while of collecting the last bravery that he could find inside his body, he decided to move and explore the room, that he was in right now.

It was huge. Just like the ceiling, Akaashi's already bad eyesight wouldn't grant permission to see where exactly the room ended, but as the young man took shaking step after step further into the space before him, he was able to see more „furniture", or whatever it was, that it was to represent.

A table of sorts, big and wide, stood in the middle of the area. It was made out of a material that Akaashi had never seen before, dark, with a steellike texture, yet it also looked like flowing glass, specks of turquoise colors caught in its surface. It irritated the ex-editor, not being able to wrap his brain around what he was seeing, not being able to find a word for it.  
At least it replaced the fear for now with a hint of curiosity, which made the young man explore the area further, yet he didn't feel like touching anything, he couldn't give a name. No chairs were around the table, but considering its height, which nearly reached Akaashis chest, the young man thought maybe this table wasn't used to sit at it and there was no space for legs below it anyway, the material blocking most of the entrances beneath it. Despite that, nothing was on the table.

Akaashi shifted his gaze to the right of the area, following up towards the wall, so he could see better. There was a „thing". It looked like a statue, but Akaashi couldn't make out, what it should represent with its smooth curves and long twists. It was, maybe a head or two, taller than him, and the closer Akaashi got, he could feel an immense heat radiating from it. This, he shouldn't touch either, he thought with determination, as he turned away from the statue, walking along the wall on the left side of the room.

He reached something, that he wanted to call a couch if it wouldn't be four times larger than the "bed", but it was filled with the same fluffy materials as said furniture, so it looked more like a cuddle corner- the ones you have in every kindergarten. It was surrounded by... „flowers". Akaashi wanted to call them flowers because they looked like them, but were by no means out of green organic material. A few looked like they were out of stone, blossoms colorful and bright. Others looked like they were out of water or smoke, held up by invisible forms, flowing soundlessly, yet ethereal and beautiful. None of them needed a pot, they just grew out of the stony ground, and for some reason, it looked like they moved as well, slow and elegant, but that could also be just Akaashis confused brain and the strain on his eyes for not being able to see properly without glasses.

There was one object though, planted in the middle of the cuddle corner, that Akaashi recognized and could definitely lable because it looked bought right of a store near his apartment complex.

A bong.  
With its violetish, red painting it looked like decoration, but Akaashi could see the „water?" inside the round bottom of the vessel and the long pipe at the top of the object, so you wouldn't have to move to be able to enjoy a relaxing smoke, no matter at which end of the cuddle corner you were at. And for some reason, it smelled like a real waterpipe too- like those fruity flavors, or whatever Akaashi's nose caught, when he passed the store to get home. Was that hells way to tell him to chill out a little bit?

How rude.  
The black-haired sighed, feeling the pressure of stored away fear leaving his chest, before turning away from the corner, deciding to explore the other side of the room. Maybe being alone in here wouldn't turn out so bad. If he could find something to eat (since he still thinks, he might need that), maybe this was a gift after all, being locked away from all humans and especially the judging stares and demands of every single one of them.

Maybe a spirit or god or whatever heard his desperate plea and decided to give him a helping hand?  
Akaashi threw that thought away, as he reached the other end of the room. There was a lot, that Akaashi couldn't give a name again, but this type of furniture looked like it had a purpose. Since the young man didn't see a kitchen of sorts, maybe this was supposed to be something, where he could prepare nutrients or anything in that matter.  
There were 4-5 small tables, maybe countertops, and a huge bowl on the ground, where Akaashi could fit in if he crouched and made himself small. This time Akaashi thinks this really is glass because it was shining in all the right angles, where the low light would hit it and the transparency told so too.  
But Akaashi got caught up by the lack of utensils. Even if this was a kitchen, how would Akaashi be able to prepare any food, because there was literally no other object, but the bowl and the countertops, not thinking about the lack of flowing water and electricity? Maybe... he was too stuck with human standards. If he was in hell or wherever he would have to learn to adapt, right? He would have to make his own tools with what was given to him. If he needed to eat. That, he needed to find out, but he could already tell, that he won't have to think about it too long, feeling a small growl of hunger rumbling through his stomach.

He sighed. He turned around again, trying to spot out the bed at the other end of the hall. Since he distanced himself from it, it was now in the dark part of the room, so it was hard for him to see its silhouette clearly, but it was still there, so nothing has changed, since he started to look around. The doubt came to Akaashi, as he remembered how the bedsheet repaired itself magically, so maybe the room rearranged itself too, but that didn't seem to be the case for now. Blue-green eyes found their way along the wall up to the ceiling again, where the light was still shining through a hole. Would he be able to climb up there? Was he allowed to do so? He felt like he wasn't intended to leave this „cave" and judging the walls' smoothness, he wouldn't be able to just try and climb up there with bare hands. Did he even want to?

He couldn't find the energy to try right now, even though he knew that's what a normal human being should do. But he wasn't normal and he had wanted to end this human and his being, so it didn't matter. He sighed once again, but this time, an echo caught strangely in his ear. He turned around again, looking at the maybe-kitchen, but it wasn't wide enough to cause an echo. Looking up, the ceiling was high enough, but it didn't seem like his voice got caught up there, no. So maybe there was more to the room than he originally thought? He started to get closer to the walls, slowly reaching out to touch them, but hesitated.

This all seemed to be fairly stupid... and if people would be able to see him, they would call him crazy and so, he stopped in his tracks. But... there was no one here but himself, right? No one would judge him... right? The stone beneath his fingertips was far hotter than Akaashi imagined. It felt like he might be trapped inside an oven... or protected from said oven from being inside a cave? He didn't retract his fingers yet, trying to push against the walls, but nothing happened. They didn't budge, even if Akaashi put all his strength into it, gasping at the struggle of fighting against a wall.

So yea. Maybe he was a little crazy, he realized as he let go of the wall. Why did he think that stone would move just like that? If that was stone in the first place. Akaashi sighed once more and shook his head, starting to scold himself silently for the first time, that he got here.  
„You are so ridiculous.", he whispers to himself, but he hears that echo again, this time to his left, and whips his head irritated in its direction.

What he sees makes him doubt himself once more. He spots an entrance of sorts- but the wall, that shields the entrance on the right side made it seem, that there wasn't a path at all if Akaashi wouldn't look at it from this angle so close to the original wall right now. He starts walking along the stone, fingertips grazing the hot material slowly before the wall ends. With a dry gulp, Akaashi reaches out, forward, outside of the room he is in, inside into the path.

Nothing changes. Nothing happens.

Akaashi dares to breathe and collects the courage to step into the secret-not-so-secret passage.

The path is not very wide. The wall, that camouflages its entrance, is right in front of Akaashi after just taking one single step, only being able to walk either left or right, but he cannot see where it ends, since both paths make a twist away into another hallway, which Akaashi can't see yet.

He feels like he is trapped in that one movie about that Labyrinth, but as far as he knows, no hot lunatic is trying to play a game with him.

Without thinking too much, he decides to go right, the hallway turning to the left shortly after, opening up into another huge hall, this one being way darker than the other and ten times more humid. The only indication of light are turquoise-glowing diamonds(?) inside the stone walls, lighting up the environment in random patterns, even more randomly placed across the entire room. Even the ground has some, these ones flat, so you can walk over them without pain, but this is not what Akaashis eyes are stuck on.

In the middle of the room is a pond of some sorts, the water just as turquoise and glowing as the diamonds, steaming hot and bubbling. It has a soft, inviting atmosphere, promising healing and warmth, but that is not why Akaashi is staring.

In the middle of the water sits a man.  
Dark, featherless wings spread out of his muscular back, rooted just next to his shoulder blades. Black and white hair is colored in turquoise light as the man turns his profile to him, golden orbs shining, covered with curiosity, in his direction.  
Akaashi remembers them. This was the last thing he saw when he became unconscious again. Next to the massive black, horns of course, that grow out of his head, 6 in total, the front row being the smallest with barely the size of his thumb, the last ones the biggest, much larger than his entire hand. His hairstyle matches the flow of his horns as if the man had tons of hair gel in them, but this might not be the case.

As the man moves, Akaashi freezes, eyes wide in terror. His fear comes back full force, like a punch square to his face, punishing him for starting to become so careless and curious. Synchronous with the man rising out of the water, Akaashi falls to the ground, heart pounding frantically in his chest as the panic rises to the dark-haired head once more. Just where the mans spine would end a tail continues, scaly and plastered with spikes as well.

// _Hell. Demon._ //, Akaashis brain provides smartly, as he tried to scurry back, not being able to avert his gaze out of pure fear. He couldn't even see the expression on the other man's face, due to the lack of glasses, but was that really necessary as the creature from hell started to growl at him in a way, Akaashi has never ever heard a predator growl?

Akaashi screamed. Even though the other looked human, Akaashi was 100% sure, he was not. And if the punishment for his failed suicide was to be torn apart by said demon, Akaashi needed to leave. Now.

If only his legs could provide something else, that was not stumbling and slipping. He made a painful twist, lying on his stomach now, his feet finally being able to get a grip on the ground, as Akaashi started to flee from the creature. He could hear another growl, could even make out a change of emotion in it, but that wasn't anything of importance to the young man, as he tumbled into the passage, back into the other room. His lungs burned with fire, even though he didn't move a lot yet and he could feel his consciousness slipping again, as he passed the table, trying to get back to the bed, but was stopped in his tracks, as he felt a weight coming down on him so fast, he had no time to react.

A yelp, a small noise of desperation, as he felt knees pressing his arms down into the ground, not being able to lift his torso due to it.

„NO—No, please no!!! Let me go, please--“, he started to beg in fear, could only imagine the worst, claws and teeth might be ripping out his lungs and heart at any moment.

But instead, big, warm hands just wrapped around his jaw, tilting his head up slightly, before a thumb pushed past Akaashis lips. The ex-editor bit down instinctively, hoping that it would make the demon let go, but nothing happened, despite another small growl rumbling from the demon's chest.  
Then suddenly, he could feel something being pushed into his mouth. He never saw what it was, could only feel something slimy at the back of his mouth, trying to make its way down Akaashis esophagus.  
The taste, that covered his tongue, was bitter and sort of rotten. He choked violently, tears starting to form at the corner of his eyes, but the demon would not back up. Instead, the huge hand that wasn't pushing the thing in Akaashis mouth moved down towards his throat, trying to encourage Akaashi to swallow whatever that was in downward motions, and with a bit of a struggle, it never had any other choice than making its way into Akaashis stomach.

The curly-haired coughed badly, as the demon's hands retreated, spit and snot running out of mouth and nose, joining the tears, that spilled without permission. It took him a full minute of catching his breath, the bitter taste still lingering on his tongue, but the demon let him for some reason, waiting everything out with patience.

„There... I think you should be able to understand me now.“, says a voice, warm and huge in its presence, behind him. Akaashis breath goes flat, as he stares into the ground in front of him, not daring to try to look up at the demon, that was still sitting on his back, probably naked.

„W-what-- why--“ Akaashis tongue felt heavy. Different. And everything surrounding his ears was turning warm as if he had caught a rising fever.

„Ahhh--- I am so sorry! This must have really scared you! I am Bokuto, your new mate!“ The demon spoke, not beating around the bush for too long.

„Mate-- what??“ Akaashis brain really didnt provide any sense to this combination of words, especially after everything that happened a few seconds ago, but „Bokuto“ wasn't deterred.

„Ah, yea! You are mine now. I am sorry, that I wasn't able to ask you beforehand, but.. time was running out and I didn't want to wait another 25 years for you--“ The demon sounded bashful, but suddenly seemed to remember that he was still pinning the other done. Quickly, he spread his wings and with one swift beat, he was back on his feet, grabbing Akaashis elbow to help him up.

„I am really sorry, this must be truly overwhelming. But don't worry, you will love it here! And me! You will love me so hard! I heard that love is something humans like to do the most!“  
The demon seemed proud, showing off his „ _knowledge_ “, but Akaashi could barely concentrate, yet keep standing on his weak knees.

All of his body moved past the panic stage, turning everything inside Akaashi into a numb mass. His movement to get himself out of Bokutos grasp was barely called a struggle, more like a poor attempt of a wiggle, but the demon didn't let go, pulling Akaashi to what the other had thought of the cuddle corner.

„This is our new home! I found this place a few days ago and it was just perfect. I really tried to turn it into something, a human – _**like you!!**_ \- would like, so I... yea. This is the - _living room_ -.“

Akaashis brain still wasn't able to catch up. So... if this was hell, then a demon would choose a dead human to make them his property... so like a slave? Sex slave, if Akaashi heard the word „Mate“ correctly.  
Everything in Akaashis stomach turned, his effort to free himself from the demons grasp growing stronger.

No. No. No. This would not be happening. Even though this was his punishment for committing suicide, he refused to feel more miserable – being treated more replacable and worthless, than he was when he was still alive. If this was his fate, then „Bokuto“ needed to break him first, because Akaashi wouldn't go down without a fight, feeling irritated and angry, that his only wish wasn't granted to him properly.

Bokuto was still chatting away, telling Akaashi the things he did to make all of this „more comfortable for him“, when something in the dark-haired man just snapped. He tears his arm from Bokutos grasp, even slightly pushes the surprised demon to the side to be able to move past him.

„Leave me THE FUCK alone!“, he curses loudly, feeling his breath shorten again. „Don't you dare to ever touch me!!“

He runs towards the bed, his original destination, pulls himself up on it, and tries to search for a way to climb the walls. There has to be anything. A dent or... something sharp, that he can ram into the wall, so he can climb up to the hole and be able to flee.

He never wanted that-- he never wanted to stumble from one prison into the other. Akaashi can barely hear anything over the rush of blood in his ears, his breath not being able to provide enough oxygen, making him hyperventilate again. He finds a dent in the wall and pulls himself up, but the adrenaline leaves just a millisecond after, turning his arms weak and trembling, before he falls back into the soft interior of the bed. He can barely see anything in the rush of emotions.

Fear, desperation, and adrenaline rush through his veins, like a forest fire.  
Yet humiliation comes crashing down onto his aching body, hard and merciless, as he knows that he is helpless once again, with nothing on his hands, holding no power over anything, least himself.

A frustrated yell rips from his throat, anger tingling in his limbs, yet his body forgot how to cry, leaving Akaashi in pain, facing his emotions with no tools whatsoever.

He never heard the demon coming, didn't see how he crossed his arms over the leather of the bed and leaned his chin onto them. Something sad was caught inside the golden orbs, but otherwise, the demon didn't look too bothered.  
„Listen. I heard that many others had this problem with their new mate, that their mate... was in a state of denial? I know it's hard, don't worry! I can fully understand. So I will do what they did as well, okay?“

Akaashi didn't look over at him, his body frozen at the cruel reality of having displayed so many impolite emotions in front of someone else, even if he was a demon. „What.. are you going to do?“, Akaashi asked his first words towards the other, short on breath and scared, still not looking at him. „I'm gonna leave for a few .. uhm, I think you call it days, but it's not exactly the same. You will have time to figure out, what this all means to you, that's for sure!“

With those words, the demon spreads his wings. Akaashi snaps his gaze towards them, seeing that they are easily twice as long as his own arms, but that's not what makes him feel hot in panic again.

„Wait-- NO!“, he cries out in desperation, as the other lifts off the ground, strong wings carrying the demon up towards the hole in the ceiling, flying through it so easily as if he'd make fun of Akaashis sorry attempt to climb the wall. Even with having seen precisely now what was between Bokutos legs, it couldn't distract Akaashi from his worst fear and enemy, that was about to consume him.

Loneliness.


	3. Questions and Answers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Nakedness? And the slightest of sexual content, without it really being sexual content.

Bokuto didn't lie. Akaashi wasn't able to know, how much time really passed, but if he wanted to believe his gut, it must have been 3 days already.

The first day he spent in bed, unmoving from the moment the demon left him to rot, sinking further into depression with every passing minute. He really didn't know, if he was dead or alive, but he felt worse than he had ever felt when he was alive, drifting into phases of absolute numbness, only to resurface in his black waters, feeling the full storm of negative emotions raging in his chest, crashing waves easily pulling him under again.

It was his fault for thinking, that he could throw away something so easily, that was gifted to him in the first place, right? Maybe that's why hell exists? Teaching gratefulness to those, who aren't?  
Akaashi truly believed it.

After the lowest of lows, he found himself in day 2, feeling his body aching for his human needs. He hadn't eaten anything for at least 24 hours, yet moved or drank anything either, not even went to relieve himself-- somewhere. Wherever he could. He made it out of bed, despite feeling dizzy and weak, ignoring the roaring headache for now, as he did so often, starting to search around for food. The demon must have something to eat here, right? Even the smallest bowl of rice would be most welcome now.

After having searched the entirety of the room and finding two other rooms behind two different „secret passages“, which lead to an empty hall, the other to something with undefinable objects, Akaashi gives up. There is not a single crump of anything anywhere. He will die of starvation. Or at least feel like dying for the entire time, since he thinks he must be already dead when he really is in hell.  
Another lesson in gratefulness? Spiraled right down into another panic attack.

During day 3 he manages to find some fragments of his old self again, as he made himself take a bath in that turquoise pond. Water always managed to relax him, especially when it was this nice and warm. It made his thoughts flow too, letting good things happen again in his mind.

He made a few observations in all his time here; would even write a list, if he had the chance to do so.

But right now, a mental checklist had to do.

  1. The gravity was stronger.

  2. The oxygen was lower.

  3. The interior was designed for creatures, who could fly.

  4. He missed his glasses.

  5. He really needed food to live, he was starving.

  6. The water from the pond didn't taste good, but was enough to keep Akaashi from becoming dehydrated.

  7. Bokuto didn't have a human penis, despite most of his body being human.

  8. There were times, when the cave got really, really hot for at least an hour.




Akaashi thought about all that, while he was relaxing into the water, letting his mind fill up with something close to clear thoughts since days, after his life-changing decision.

Considering the gravity and oxygen-thing: It feels to Akaashi, like he is on another planet entirely.  
He admits, he doesn't know what life at the bottom of a volcano would be like, but Akaashi really doubts, that it would be just „really, really hot.“, so he discards the thought of _ACTUALLY_ being in a volcano. His - _another planet_ \- theory gets underlined with the increasing heat, which Akaashi might be able to call high noon with a sun that's probably way closer than suns earth due to its omnipresence of light in the hole above (if that really was a sun), this cave possibly really protecting him from burning up alive. And if hell is truly just another planet or a plane of non-living existence in another solar system, then Akaashi wouldn't be all too surprised. Would explain Bokutos hybrid-human form so well, too.

A painful grumble shakes Akaashi's body, as a hand drops low to his stomach. He never knew what it was like to be really hungry. It fills him with shame to think of the times, when he grew irritated when he didn't have anything to eat in a time span of 5 hours. Another lesson of how he took things way for granted. It makes his existence feel even more worthless, than before.

He sighs, tries to keep himself together. He had to use the hours, where his brain would let him think, productively. A long hand glides through black curls, getting stuck on knots there and he sighs once again. There was so much, that he was missing, even if it was just a simple hairbrush. So much. But nothing of it were the people that he knew, which made him feel ungrateful once more.

Being fed up with himself, Akaashi stands up, leaving the pond to grab his dirty clothes, a dark violet comfy-sweatshirt paired with black trousers, and dresses himself again without drying off. With all the warmth he would be dry in no time anyway. It actually would be smarter to leave the clothes off entirely, but he can't deal with such freedom yet. He doesn't notice the parallel scars on his thighs while dressing up, that heal with a sliver of turquoise.

From not having spoken for the last three days and knowing that something in his organ of speech has changed, his throat feels sore- in fact, everything starts to ache bit by bit. His feet, from having to walk on hard ground every day with just his socks. His knees, from having to climb up on the bed and not being able to sit anywhere else but the hard floor, which makes his back hurt too. His eyes from still missing his glasses. Even with the soothing bath he just took, he progressively felt like an old man.

What was that thing anyway, that Bokuto shoved down Akaashis throat?  
Whatever it was, Akaashi was hoping to find something more, so he could soothe the ache in his stomach from being so empty.

Also... what was that thing between Bokutos legs? The dark-haired man stopped dead in his tracks.

He remembered what he saw, clearly and with full detail.

Not being erect, that - _thing_ \- between Bokutos thighs was massive. It had a swollen shaft, compared to a normal human penis, and was... strangely textured with lines, even though the color seemed somewhat normal. Something alien. Or something you would buy straight out of a bad-dragon-shop.

Akaashi could feel the heat rising to his ears. Whatever was happening now, Bokuto had a shitload of explaining to do and Akaashi wouldn't back down, if he didn't hear every last bit of it. He seemed to want Akaashi to understand the situation- why on earth he left then was a mystery to Akaashi, but things were, as they were.

What did Bokuto mean with „mate“? Maybe that was something, that had a different meaning in hell? Not on a sexual page, but more on a possession list? Or maybe it was something friendly, like the australian 'mate', Akaashi hoped in a slightly crazy hope. But would he even want to be friends with Bokuto?

He barely had the nerve to give people his telephone number, since he usually didn't want to be bothered during his rare free hours. But... things are different now, right? He is dead, he doesn't need to go to work anymore. Would it be so bad to be friends with Bokuto? Would it be that bad to sleep with him?

As Akaashis thoughts involuntarily rush to something very visual in his head, this dick or whatever it is that Bokutos has between his legs, piercing him open, the blood drained out of Akaashis head, down into his feet. He would never be able to „survive“ this dick, he thought to himself, as he fainted quickly, hitting the ground and his head hard in the process.

* * *

„...y-- HEY! Wake up, wake up!!“  
  
Akaashi did. He realised that he was lying on his back, his vision distorting with every blink he attempted to make himself see clearly again.

„... nh... what?“, the dark-haired asked, as a sudden pain shoots through his temples to the back of his head, immediately reaching for it with his shaking hand.  
  
„Hey man, relax. You really hit your head hard. Whatever happened to you?“

This wasn't Bokutos voice. This one was rougher, cooler, but had a hint of amusement hidden behind his worry.  
  
„Man, Bo, you gotta take care of your mate, seriously!“

  
„I did--- I mean, I tried!! I tried to do the thing where they freak, so I left him to let him calm down??“

  
Bokuto sounded like he was sincerely panicking. Akaashi could hear weird pacing next to him, only every third step clearly touching the ground. He willed himself to collect his inner turmoil and stores the pain away in to the back of his mind. Then he looks at the guy again, who was kneeling next to him, dark eyes glinting with intelligence.

„Who-..“ Akaashi tried, but was interrupted.

„Kuroo. It's nice to meet you.“  
  
The ex-editor couldn't help but squint at the hand, that was being held in his direction, way too close to his face to be able to actually be grabbed in a friendly handshake.

„Uh-- you humans don't do that thing with the hand?“  
  
Akaashi started to look irritated, more about the entire confusion and less about the appearance of the other, as his vision turned back to its old, weak strength. The man called 'Kuroo' had wild, dark hair, parts of it covering his right eye and teeth, so white and sharp, Akaashi really didn't want to be in biting range of that man, but still-- there was his opportunity to get answers to his questions, so he fought himself into a sitting position, pushing Kuroos hand away in the process, but stops in his track, as he sees the other barely wearing anything... and being equipped, just like Bokuto, only that Kuroos seemed to be a bit longer, while Bokuto was definitely wider.

„Ey, Bro, I think your mate isn't interested in your dick.“ A wide grin split across the face of the demon in front of him, the two horns on his forehead more intimidating now, than before and somewhat teasing.

„KUROO-!“ „I am not **ANYONES** MATE!“

  
Two shouts at the same time made the dark-haired demon flinch, but his swinging tail told tales of amusement.

„Woah- its fine, man, its fine. Bo, get some ointment for his head, so the wound can heal.“

  
„Wait, he is HURT!?“  
  
Bokuto rushes to Kuroos side, nearly pushing the other over to the hard ground, as he leaned way too close into Akaashis personal space. The curly-haired man held his breath, feeling insecure about the smell of it, which surely must be bad (he didn't brush his teeth in three days), but then remembered, what he wanted in the first place, and next to embarrassment anger bubbled in his stomach.

„Did you plan on leaving me here to starve, Bokuto-san?“, Akaashi asked, for the first time a direct question to Bokuto, acknowledging his existence after kind of denying it too and not being able to leave it a simple, informal 'Bokuto'.  
  
The other one blinked, clearly confused about the honorific and the question, that Akaashi stated, which made the human just more irritated and angry. If he smelled his bad breath, he didn't say anything about it.

Kuroo in the meantime stood up and made his way to the „pond-room“, where „ointment“ should be, even if Akaashi didn't find anything remotely close to anything other than turquoise water in this hall, even after the third time searching.

„What... exactly do you mean?“ Bokuto sounded really insecure.

Akaashi didn't know what to say.  
  
„I am... really, really hungry, Bokuto-san. You brought me here, so the least you should do is feed me, right?“  
  
Bokutos jaw dropped and Akaashi could see the wheels in his head turn. Then suddenly a hand dropped to his crotch and for whatever reason, he began touching himself, much to the horror of Akaashi, who was still sitting right next to him.

„I-- I really thought you needed time? That's at least what they taught us in mates-class. „Humans are very emotional creatures! They need time to adjust, before you truly mate them!“ – or sorts like that, haha-“

'haha'??? Akaashi couldn't believe, what was happening, since panic was starting to rise inside his chest once again. Not out of bravery but pure fear, he grabbed the warm wrist of the demon, the hand stopping the strokes on his genital, as golden orbs looked confused into blue-green ones.  
  
„What the hell do you think „Hungry“ means, Bokuto-san?!“

There was a long pause.

„....You want my dick?“

„NO!“

Bokuto startled, not being able to figure out, what he did wrong.  
  
„THEN WHAT DO YOU NEED??“

A barking laugh came from behind them, as Kuroo strolled back into the room.

„Really, this is going to be a disaster. You better produce well, or you both might end up killing each other.“, the tall one said, as he kneeled next to Bokuto again, a weird-smelling, yellow paste on his fingertips. Despite his fingernails, long like claws, he rubbed the ointment gently into Akaashis wounded scalp and the younger one let him, not finding the energy in himself to fight it off.

The realisation, that he might not be dead due to Kuroos words, or might be able to die again- that this is maybe not hell after all, hit him hard. And even harder hit him the thought, that he really, truly could potentially starve to death here.

„Mh, whats your name anyway?“, the dark-haired demon asked, as he was finished nursing Akaashi, but the human's eyes were glazed over with dark shadows.

_He didn't die. He didn't die. He didn't die. He isn't dead and – probably Bokuto – ruined his choice, his self-made chance to die on his own terms and now he will starve to death here, painfully, and there is nothing that he can do about it. This is awful. Horrendous. He just wants to end, please._

A frustrated yell startled him back to reality, as he saw Bokuto gripping his horns and grinding his sharp teeth, jaw prominent.

„It's so unnerving. I can't smell how he is feeling!! He looks so shocked, but I can't tell for sure. But he has other scents I can't really name!!“  
Another angry sound, then the black-and-white-haired demon suddenly seems very dejected. „I don't even know your name.“

„Give him one?“ Kuroo asked.

„No!“, Akaashi barked at him furiously, making the other raise an eyebrow. He wasn't as easily overwhelmed as Bokuto and seemed to lack a bit of compassion as well. And despite his lacking self-worth, Akaashi felt the pride of not wanting to be treated like a newly-bought puppy.

„Then cooperate. It's that easy.“

For a long moment, the three of them fell into silence, dark and golden eyes boring their ways through Akaashis head. The dark-haired then nodded, a little defeated.

„Akaashi Keiji.“

„That wasn't that hard now, was it?“ Kuroo grinned from ear to ear and even Bokuto looked a little happier again.

"I have a request.", the young man then mumbled, turning his gaze away. Both demons looked curiously at him, feeling like 'Akaashi' would start to warm up now.

"Please cover up your lower halves." 


	4. His tricks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Slgiht elements of non-con / Body change

Akaashi was sitting in the cuddle corner, he so desperately wanted to call couch again, since sitting here with two demons didn't feel all too cuddly to him. Still, they listened to his wish and wrapped their lower halves in Bokutos brown blankets and so he felt he was able to start a conversation, which wouldn't be distracted all the time by accidental looks into southern regions.

„So... You are saying...“, Akaashi tries to repeat, the headache still present even though he could feel that the wound inflicted due to his fainting was much better already thanks to the ointment Kuroo got him. He presses a round „pillow“ to his chest, which looked more like a ball than anything.

„I... I am really not dead. And Bokuto brought me here because... I am supposed to be his „soulmate“. And you are both... old.“

Bokuto looked mesmerized, nearly ecstatic to see Akaashi understood so well.

„Yes!!“, he shouts out in excitement, making the curly-haired man flinch due to the volume. „Well-- not really old, but.. considering a human life, I have lived 6 times already!“

Akaashi nods, assuming that if the average person would become 80-100 years old, Bokuto must be around 500-600 years.

„And, uhm...“, Akaashi tried to continue. „You said earlier, you didn't want to wait 'another' 25 years... What was that about?“

Bokuto blinked. Then looked at Kuroo, who was lying sprawled out in the corner of the couch, trying to figure out the colourful water pipe.

„He doesn't know!“

„Obviously.“

„But how does he not know! He is human!“

„Their memories get wiped, remember? The cycle, that is not really a cycle--“

„.. and more like a new line, stopping and starting all over again-- yes, you were right!“

Akaashi tilted his head. Whatever the two were talking about right now, it didn't make a lot of sense to him, but Bokuto tried his best to enlighten him.

„So-- unlike us, you humans kinda get 'reborn'! Your soul is thrown into a pool with other souls, until a new vessel is free again! It was your second time getting reborn, but you-- uhm... didn't seem to like it a lot! Like... the first time.. or the second...So I... figured, I shouldn't wait any longer to.. you know, take you here! I would have preferred to wait a bit longer, because with every new cycle humans get smarter, but I think you already are pretty smart for a human!“

Akaashi nodded, trying to wrap his head around everything being said and not feeling insulted by Bokutos last words. By pushing down the urge to scream and cry into his ball-pillow due to being so overwhelmed with the crazy shit he has been told, he keeps up his mask and steels his voice.

„Is there... anything else I need to know about your kind? And about my... 'future' here?“ Akaashi assumed, they wouldn't bring him back - just like that -, hence he tried to adapt already.

Bokuto nods and scoots closer to him, a tad bit too close for Akaashis taste, but the dark-haired man can't find the strength in himself to create distance.

„So.. Kuroo and I are human-type demons! He has a soulmate on earth too, who he will take over here one day, but I think he wants to wait for at least another cycle?“ A question in Kuroos direction, who just nods and smiles softly to himself.

Bokuto looks happy. „Right! And... for your future! We will start your body change soon, so you won't be confused about „food“ anymore. Also, we might want to--“

„Wait, wait-- what? What do you mean by „body change“?“

Akaashi feels panic rise inside himself again.

// _Will they turn me into a demon too?_ //

For a short moment, blue-green travels along Bokuto's huge wings. Being able to fly wouldn't be that bad, right? But Bokuto destroys that blossoming curiosity quickly.

„Well, yea! You are my mate! Every co-species needs to get body-change to be able to produce! It won't be much and it won't change anything outside of your body either. You will basically stay the same, just... be able to produce. That's all.“

Akaashi tilts his head, this time to the other side. He doesn't mean, that...?

Kuroo interferes, an eyebrow high. „You know... like the babies you have, but different.“  
  
„Different... how?“ Akaashi's heartbeat picks up. He has a really hard time to keep his panic under control and for some reason, the demons seem to notice it.

„Maybe we should take a rest now.“, Bokuto starts, compassion in his eyes. „That must have been a lot already for you--“

„No. Explain.“ //I really need to know.// Akaashis expression turned to stone, as he stares deeply into Bokutos golden orbs.

Bokuto and Kuroo exchange nervous glances.

„Listen, I know you didn't do the body change yet-- and I didn't mark you either--! But I need you to listen to me. I am your alpha now and I think it would be really better for you to-“

Akaashi grinds his teeth audibly. The panic formed into a blind rage and both demons could see it clearly on the younger man's face.

„No, I think YOU should listen. You left me here for three days without water or food in complete isolation. You took my CHOICE away and for some reason you think, I would agree to this whole „mate thing“ just like that? WHO do you think you are?! You really think, you're doing me a favor with bringing me here-- without asking for what I want?!“

Akaashi was standing, towering over Bokuto, ball-pillow dropped into the mass of fluffy feathers. His rage didn't let him sit, even though his feet sink deep into the couch materials.

Kuroo grinned slightly, even though the concern was present in his eyes.

„Oh dear...“

Bokuto couldn't do anything else but stare up at Akaashi with wide eyes and open mouth.

But his surprised expression quickly faded into something, Akaashi hasn't seen yet in the demons usually soft and happy mimic. Something feral, something dominant, something strict washed over Bokutos features, hardens them and turns them cold, not tolerating another word in the direction Akaashi was heading.

With a swift movement of his wings, Bokuto was on his feet, standing right before Akaashi, just a few centimeters away. Akaashi quickly notices, that Bokuto was indeed at least a head taller than him and that he couldn't use his own height to intimidate the other, but he wasn't ready to back down yet, staring angrily up at the demon, who observed him with a cold-burning gaze.

„I know this is all new to you and scary. Believe me, I would have asked you, if I'd have had the chance... And I am really not a fan of the old ways to „discipline“ ones omega, but if you... dare... to accuse me of not wanting the best for you, even if it's just indirectly... I will be forced to take matters into my own hands to make you see... that we are meant to be. I am your alpha. Please watch your tone.“

This let something in Akaashi's brain snap. So demons were primitive. Demons preferred hierarchy inside their family. Demons forced other species to be their mates and order them around.

// _Not with me._ //, Akaashi thought. „I'd rather starve to death.“

Bokutos expression heats up at the snarl and Akaashi could see his muscular chest straining in heavy breathing.

„Kuroo. Please leave us alone for a few hours. The sooner he gets turned into an omega, the better.“

Kuroo gets up without a word and sends a cautious gaze in Akaashis direction, before spreading his wings to go.

„I don't think you need to leave--“, the curly-haired wanted to stay bratty, but suddenly all air was pressed out of his lungs, as he came crashing down into the cuddle corner, Bokutos heavy body on top of him.

„This will be unpleasant.“, the demon says, eyebrows furrowed in anger, but conflict burns in his eyes. „But as I said. The sooner we do it, the better you will learn to understand.“

Akaashi struggles against Bokutos grip, but notices that he can barely make the bulkier man budge. Maybe he shouldn't have started a fight after being emotionally and physically drained for three days.

But whatever Bokuto wanted to do, Akaashi wouldn't let it happen, even if it meant to beg.

„Stop!“, he nearly yells into Bokutos face. „I don't want this--“

Bokuto looks pained and Akaashi could see that something in him broke – probably the illusion of immediately being happy with his 'soulmate' - but he wouldn't stop, bringing a strong arm down onto the chest of the other, to stop the struggle. Another hand glides up into Akaashi's curls, gripping it tightly and pulling it to the side, making Akaashi hiss, shut his eyes close and tilt his head in the process, leaving his neck accessible and open.

Everything happened so fast, Akaashi had no time to react.

He was ready to pull his own leg up to land his knee right between Bokutos legs, ready to fight and give everything, but he wasn't able to anymore, as he could feel Bokutos hot breath against his neck. For a millisecond he felt a stinging pain- something sharp penetrating his skin, probably Bokutos teeth, but this sensation was nothing compared to what happened after.

Like an explosion, a tingling rushed from the bite on Akaashis neck through his entire body, making him gasp in dizzying feelings. He could feel it weave through his heartstrings, invading every cell on his body from head to toe, numbing his senses and heightened them at the same time. The anger he had felt before, so violent and blinding, started to get carried away by the waves of unknown feelings, that flooded Akaashis core.

Another gasp escapes Akaashi's lips, as the pain inside his neck replaces itself with a strange pleasure, warming and soft, leaving a painting of colors Akaashi can't really understand yet, like feathers gliding over Akaashis body.

Despite the moment only lasting for two or three seconds, Akaashi felt like he had been gone for days or months, blood rushing through his cheeks, tainting them in a beautiful red, all of his doubts and opposition forgotten. His heart was racing, threatening to jump out of his chest, like he'd have his first highschool crush all over again, only ten times worse. The first sense, that reminded him that he was still - _there_ \- was a scent. The smell was foreign, but for some reason and at the same time, he knew exactly who it belonged to.

Pupils blown wide peak from under heavy-hooded eyelids through dark, thick lashes up to the demon that bit his neck.

Bokuto looked down at him with flaming eyes, but that's not what kept his gazes attention. There was something forming on the neck of the other. Akaashi would have called it a tattoo, if he didn't know how tattoos were made, but black colour magically danced around Bokutos neck, before ending in the form of two crossed feathers.

Akaashi wanted to speak. Wanted to know what happened, why Bokuto did this, but even the anger in Bokutos eyes was gone, replaced with soft affection.

„Stay here...“, he whispers in a warm tone, Akaashi for some reason feeling compliant and nods.

Unexpectedly, it didn't feel like the curly-haired man could breathe better, when the heavy body above him lifted- more like the opposite. Suddenly, Bokuto's absence didn't feel right with him. There was a scared voice in the back of his mind which screamed „What did he do to me?!“ without a break, but the longing for Bokuto was stronger at this very moment.

Bokuto returned shortly after, two types of different coloured slimes in his hand.

„Where did you--...“; Akaashi tried, but his fuzzy brain didn't provide the rest of the sentence, when Bokutos free hand began to stroke his warm cheek.

„Please don't hate me, Akaashi...“, the demon whispered.

Akaashi wanted to laugh. Hate?? You??? Right now, this wasn't even a thing he could think of. How was he supposed to hate this demon, when he felt so drawn to him, so bonded, so close? That the effect of the bite would end soon, was nothing that crossed the young man's mind.

„Please swallow this.“

Bokuto held a reddish slime in Akaashi's direction. The human complied, didn't even think twice, as he took the slime from Bokutos hand into his mouth. This time, it didn't taste rotten, but more like a fruit, Akaashi has never tasted before, sweet and exotic.

In the meantime, Bokuto moved down to pull off Akaashis pants, the dark-haired one not resisting in the slightest. The surprised look on the demon's face even made the young man chuckle.

„You are so small..“, Bokuto observes, but not negatively, just in pure wonder.

Akaashi somehow took it as a compliment.

„You are just very big.“, he countered, making the demon blush for the first time, since he met him.

„Thank you!“, the black-and-whiter-haired beamed, before pressing the other slime, a violet colored one, against Akaashis entrance between his legs, which made the younger one jolt.

With small, soothing „shh's“ from Bokuto, Akaashi started to relax again, absolutely indifferent to what Bokuto was doing to him-- for some reason even content with it. Bokuto only used one finger to push the substance gently into Akaashis body, making the other moan naturally and hiss, when the demon extracted his digit again.

„This won't feel good, Akaashi...“, the demon warned, but his concerned words didn't reach Akaashi's cotton-filled brain. It was clear to him, that the other would not realise the pain he was going to be in for the next few hours due to Bokuto's dirty move of marking him, filling Akaashi with love, relaxing hormones and longing, yet himself only with the worst of guilt.

A warm, big hand strokes Akaashi's heated cheek for a second time, gently and delicately, making the human nuzzle into the touch and immediately lulling him to a soft, warm sleep, after all the strain his body went through.

Bokuto prayed, that the other would sleep through everything, before spreading his wings and leaving the cave for the second time, after retrieving his soulmate from the other world, stomach aching in feelings of guilt.

* * *

Akaashi's dreams were warm and pleasant.

He couldn't remember a time, where he felt this happy, this carefree and alive. And wherever he went in his dreams, Bokuto was at his side, looking at him with warm, golden eyes filled with love.

// _What else could I possibly want?_ //, he asks himself happily at the exact same moment, the dream begins to rumble and shatter, like a window during an earthquake.

„What's happening?“, the curly-haired asks in fear, his eyes clinging desperately to dream-Bokuto who looks sad and dejected.

„I am so sorry, Akaashi.“

The human widens his eyes. He wants to ask what for, but there is no air for these questions, as dream Bokuto dissolves into golden sand, leaving him alone in the breaking world around him.

He gasps for air, this time in reality, having woken up by a tremor in his lower stomach.

Instinctively he lets a hand glide to the pain, not being able to make out, why and what causes it, as a sharp sensation penetrates his abdomen like a knife, leaving him to cry out in agony.

He grabs desperately onto the couch-materials, that lie beneath him, but he can barely remember, why he laid down here in the first place and why he was hurting so bad, ESPECIALLY in his neck.

As he was trying to look around, he could feel his vision blur, his body on fire, feverish and shaking in cold at the same time.

He could feel something crawling up his intestines, something stinging and burning, but that was nothing compared to the sensation that is left behind, as if Akaashis complete interior rearranged itself.

He screamed out again, this time desperately and in hope for help, but he would stay alone, that much he knew, because he felt it: Bokuto was far away, too far away to hear his cries and for some reason, Akaashi hated him for it. Hated, that he knew, that Bokuto wouldn't come and hated, that he had hoped for him in the first place, since the last thing he clearly remembered was having a fight with the demon himself. The demon, that decided, if Akaashi lived or died, just like that. The Demon, that probably was responsible for all the pain, that Akaashi was in right now.

The ex-editor growled in frustration, tried to bite down the hurt, which made every one of his muscles contract, but it only got worse.

Hours later, when the aching started to subdue, Akaashi was only a shivering mess, body covered in sweat and eyes glazed over in exhaustion.

// _This time..._ //, something in Akaashi's hollow mind provided. // _he will not get off the hook so easily.//_


	5. Meeting in the middle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: Suicide, Depression, Blood, Angst

It must have been hours. Or maybe another day, Akaashi wasn't sure, but it gave him time.

Time to think. Something he usually avoided at all costs, but it haunted him like an angry spirit from the afterlife, catching him eventually and when he is most vulnerable.

He thought about the things he would throw into Bokutos direction when he came back, words and objects alike, purposefully hurtful in hope, they could convey his endless anger and pain about this entire situation. It wasn't like him, extremely out of character too, but this is a situation he never dealt with. His emotions screamed „Yes! Vengeance!“, but as he kept lying there in the fluffy materials of the cuddle corner, his anger subdued and a darkness he knew too well, greeted him like an old friend.

Depression always came, when you needed it the least and it took Akaashi under so quickly, that the young man had no time to catch a last, shaky breath.

It left him weeping for small eternities, only to have him lay there, numb and empty, seconds later.

_Why was he still there? Why did Bokuto do that to him?_

When the demon actually came back, Akaashi didn't even realize, that he was there.

Bokuto stood there next to the table in the middle of the room, hands formed into fists, his sharp nails digging relentlessly into his skin, but not being able to break it; to actually draw blood. He looked at the small miserable pile of human on the couch, how he shook and cried without a sound.

The worst was... Bokuto could feel it now. Bokuto could smell it. The overwhelming stress and torment his mate was enduring right now was weaving through his scent. But it only made his resolve stronger. Confirmed, that he really needed to get his soulmate out of the other world, before he could start another life full of fear, pain and worthlessness. Bokuto had seen the first one crash and burn, literally, as Akaashi decided it was time to go, running his car with high speed into the next tree.

The demon couldn't understand back then. Didn't even have time to react. Could only stare into the flames shown by the portal, that took the first life of his future love.

And the second time Akaashi was born, Bokuto wanted so desperately believe, that he would lead a better life since this is a new body despite looking so similar to the first one, a fresh start, a new beginning? More Serotonin to spare, better people to love him properly?

As Akaashi cut his wrists when he was sixteen, Bokuto wept for days, trying to comprehend the urge of destruction, that his mate was going through, despite not having formed a bond with him yet. He didn't kill himself in this life. He was killed in a shady alleyway in the search of drugs to momentarily relieve the pain, that was omnipresent.  
It was a middle-aged man, whose face Bokuto could recall until this day, going after Akaashi's wallet, but didn't expect a fight from the barely-20-year-old.  
The dark-haired boy never saw the knife coming, that pierced his lungs, nor did he see anyone who tried to help, leaving him to die and bleed out until the sun rose.

As the curly-haired stared into the sunrise in his third life, Bokuto wanted to believe so franticly, that the calm in Akaashis eyes came from the thought of bettering everything, letting go of the job that destroyed him and would seek help, but none of that came, when the demon watched his love fall for the nth time and this time, he fell for real.

It was a decision without another thought. The demon had jumped through the portal, catching the falling body of the suicidal man in the process and crashing through another dimension door back into the cave he had recently found and barely equipped. He didn't even spend a full second on earth, looking down at Akaashi in his arms, who had lost consciousness.

It had been way too early, the demon realized, but he really couldn't deal with another round of torture- didn't want to see him suffer anymore. It made a grown demon weep in sorrow.

Now, looking at Akaashi on the couch, it nearly hurt twice as bad to be the reason for his pain, but Bokuto believed, this was the only option... the right thing to do.

As he approached the young man, he could see disoriented, dull eyes search for something in confusion and locking onto him without a word.

„Uhm.. hey...“, Bokuto tried softly, but had to bite back a pained gasp, as Akaashi just turned his gaze away and proceeded to stare at the wall, ignoring Bokuto's existence.

For another moment, the demon was unsure what to do, not knowing if he could approach or not, when he suddenly heard a croaked and broken ' _why_ '?

It made the alpha tear up, but he knew he needed to be strong for his omega.

„Because you deserve to live, Akaashi.“

That ignited something in the other. Bokuto could feel anger again, but was actually quite happy, that it shoved the desolation to the back of Akaashi's being, at least for now.

„As if you know, what I deserve and what not.“, the human muttered angrily, still not looking at Bokuto, but he didn't flinch back, as the demon actually approached.

„What is that?“, the younger man asked instead, changing the topic. „The thing you did to my body? It really hurt...“

Bokuto sat down cautiously on the leathern edge of the cuddle corner.

„As I said.“, he began softly. „To be able to be my mate, your body needed to make some changes. Are you „hungry“?“  
  
Akaashi's eyebrows furrowed. „No.. not really.“

Recognizing that it might not have been because of the emotional strain he went through, Akaashi really didn't feel the urge to eat to fill his stomach with fuel.

„Does that mean... I don't get to eat anymore?“

It made Akaashi feel sad. Food was nearly the only thing, that made him feel something remotely close to happiness. Having to give up on it seemed like a looming apocalypse. His mate quickly caught up on it.

„Well. - _Needing it_ \- would be the right term- like... you don't need it anymore, no. That doesn't mean, you can't enjoy tastes and swallow stuff though?“

That sounded strange, but Akaashi couldn't find it in himself to call Bokuto out on it.

„How do I... survive then? How do you survive, if you don't eat?“

Bokuto's face lightened up a little bit. Even though Akaashi's voice sounded endlessly tired, the anger seemed to dissipate. So no loud fighting, as Bokuto imagined his return.

„We get everything we need from the air and the suns! And from our mates of course.“

This caused Akaashi to look at Bokuto again, tired eyes filled with confusion.

„Like... flowers?“

„If that's how your flowers live, then yes!“ Bokuto looked proud to have provided an answer.

Akaashi just sighed out and closed his eyes. For a few seconds, there was silence and neither of them spoke a word. Bokuto wanted to get up to retrieve something, but Akaashi was faster, grabbing his arm, even though his grip was weak.

„Why does my neck hurt so bad? And my... chest... Those are not my emotions.“

Bokuto had startled at the cold touch of Akaashi's hand, but compassion filled his eyes quickly once again.

„That is our mark, Akaashi. It connects us for as long as we want to stay together. Which-- hopefully is forever, since we are soulmates!“

Akaashi didn't look convinced, but he let go of Bokuto's arm and let his fingertips trail instead over the marking on his neck. He was sure it must look just like Bokutos tattoo-marking.

„Do you... feel mine too?“

„Your... emotions?“

Akaashi nods, feeling dread spread in his chest. This was the last thing he ever wanted- having people feel the emotions, that he has to deal with every day. He never wished anything like that upon others, since he knew how cruel it was and he couldn't help but feel even more worthless, knowing he can't deal with it according to the rules.

„Ah...yea. I do. But don't worry. You will feel better in no time! And please don't get mad at me, I know it sounds ridiculous, since you've been feeling like that your whole life!“

Another second of silence.

„.... did you stalk me?“

„NO!-- No-- well, maybe-- I don't know. I'd rather call myself a guardian angel!“, Bokuto provided nervously.

„Sure, stalker.“

„AKAASHIII--“

A small chuckle interrupted Bokuto's desperate cry. It made the demon jolt, since it was not himself who laughed, but it faded so quickly again, that the taller man was angry not having spend full attention to this rare moment of amusement escaping Akaashis lips.

But the silence that spread afterwards started to feel awkward, as Bokuto did nothing but stare at the man lying on the couch.

„What?“, the other then asked, slightly unnerved, but way calmer, than Bokuto has ever seen him, since he came here.

„I... will get a washcloth.“ Bokuto nodded and fled from the main room into the bathing area, letting his claws run over the smooth walls to open up a cabinet, which was built deeply into the stone.

The cabinet was filled with many things, many soaps, many slimes, many ointments and only the fluffiest of materials. Bokuto didn't skip mate-class, when they learned about humans, so he truly tried to provide everything accordingly to his knowledge.

While demons only took care of their entire body hygiene once a week, Bokuto learned that humans did it nearly everyday and soft fabrics were used to clean and dry the body alike. The demon let the wash cloth soak up with water from the pond, pressed most of the water out again with his hands and quickly made his way back to the main room, while the cabinet closed itself magically, leaving behind nothing but smooth stone.

Akaashi wasn't lying down anymore. Instead, he decided to lean up on his arms, but was caught in his movement, as he felt dry crust breaking of his legs, making him stare. As Bokuto returned, Akaashi didn't ask a question. He could imagine, why there was dried blood on his naked legs and naturally on the couch materials as well. The pain he endured earlier really did feel like everything inside him was ripped open, but he never would have believed that it actually caused bleeding.

„Please relax Akaashi- I know it looks bad, but it's... not. You really managed to endure the worst!“

Akaashi looked kind of pissed again, but he didn't say a word. Bokuto forgot for a moment that he was the alpha and wanted to back away, but instead he held the cloth forward.

The curly-haired just nodded, lying back down, inviting Bokuto silently to clean him up, which made the demon tilt his head, but he would never decline such a peace-offer.

He was gentle, as gentle as he could be and Bokuto made sure to clean every last bit of skin, that Akaashi's long legs provided, avoiding his intimate region though.

„Really...“, Akaashi started again. „What do you think will happen now? Or rather, what do you want to happen?“

„Uhm... Other than being with you, there are no plans. I am sorry if... you wanted more?“

Akaashi sighed. He wanted something else entirely, but he wouldn't say that out loud, especially being able to _FEEL_ Bokuto's concern.

„Will I be able to... leave this cave?“

The demon startled, nearly dropping the cloth on the couch.

„Why would you want to do that, Akaashi??“

Eyebrows furrowed, as blue-green eyes searched golden ones, slightly irritated.

„You don't expect me to stay in here all day, do you?“

„OF COURSE, I DO! Akaashi, there are many alphas out there-!! When they smell your virgin womb and your soon-to-be-pheromones, they won't ask for permission to mate you! That does include the not-human-types as well, they can really hurt you!“

Bokuto looked stressed. Akaashi did as well.

„I-- I can't stay in here for the rest of my life, Bokuto-san! How did you think this would work? I will go crazy, if I can't leave this cave for at least-- _once_.“

Bokuto looked torn. Of course, he knew other omegas. They were allowed to roam around just as much as any other Beta or Alpha, but something protective inside the demon's core made him reject the idea of Akaashi going outside. So he looked to the side, not keeping eye contact.

„The... t-the suns are reaaaaaaaally, really hot, Akaashi! Hotter than earth's sun! I am sure, that it will be bad for your skin. A-and I am sure that-- it will only be hard for like, the first hundred years!! I will make you so happy, that you won't even think about leaving the cave!!“

Akaashi held his breath for two reasons. He could see Bokuto lying to him, how dare he. But what made him actually stumble upon Bokutos words, was the information he provided in between, as if it would be nothing of importance.

„... what do you mean... the - _first_ \- hundred years... ?“

Bokuto stopped in his tracks.

„What do you think what it means! You won't die anymore! No more reborn-stuff!“ Bokuto looked happy. Akaashi did not.

* * *

As Kuroo entered the cave, he was witnessing his best friend and boisterous alpha getting beat up violently with various ball-pillows from the couch by his half-naked omega.

It was a mistake to laugh out loud.

Two pairs of eyes, equally crazy and fired up, were immediately on him.

Bokuto was by his side, pleading for rescue, as the first ball-pillow connected to his face.

The two alphas fled the cave, escaping the wrath of the omega and his pillow-throwing.

For now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who do you think is Kuroo's mate on earth? Tell me <3


	6. Trading business

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Akaashi in this one, I am sorry-  
> Slowly the world they are in starts to come together. New characters, yay!

„What makes you think, I would help you out... - _just like that_ \- ?“, the curly-haired human-type demon asked, two beauty marks above his right brow distorting in disgust. He was just about to close up his market spot for today, having provided a course about mermaid-mates and the likes, packing the various things he traded for his knowledge. 

„I don't know? Maybe because you could be nice for once?“, Kuroo said in Bokuto's defense, who only seemed to slump in on himself in shame, while the taller one is pressing a hand against his chest, as if he is about to bless the other demon with his own „kindness“.

The demon called Sakusa only looked more disgusted and turned away.

„I am not teaching outside of classes. If you decided to not show up to my free teachings or that my classes aren't interesting enough to pay full attention to- Get lost.“, he states with a cold tone, as he is about to turn his back to the two pleading men, but gets interrupted, as two other souls decide to drop into his market stand, leaving the black-haired demon only more agitated. 

„Oof. Okay, what do you two want now?“, Sakusa growls, rubbing his temples to soothe the ache building behind it.

„Omi-omi!! Come on, don't be like that. It's really nice to see you, too~“. The blonde fox-type demon opened his arms, before he looks over to the other duo. „Hey, Bokkun. Kuroo-- 'sup?“

  
While the blonde, Atsumu, focuses his attention on the friendlier kind, Osamu, a gray-haired fox-type demon, moves towards Sakusa. 

„I got the materials you requested for your classes. It was hard to get them, since the last trader was quite _demanding_ , but the quality of the wares is excellent. Please take a look.“, the fox-demon states with a slight smile, before opening the leather-bag he had been carrying around and letting Sakusa take a peak. 

The black-haired man doesn't let himself get invited twice and starts to roam through the materials, even picking one or two out of the portable container. 

„Mh. That's really not bad.“ Curious, dark gaze roams over the piece of fabric, he currently holds within careful claws. „Human trousers really are hard to find, especially this type.“ Blackened fingertips glide over the blue, rough textile, but his gaze quickly catches onto white stripes separating themselves from the entire construction, leaving holes in the front of the pants. 

„Those are broken. You said the quality was excellent. Are you trying to rip me off, Osamu?“ 

Sakusa's gaze turned cold, mimic dark and threatening. 

Gray and blonde fox ears quickly drop down onto ducking heads.

„O-of course not, omi-omi!“, Atsumu tries, leading the poisonous gaze away from his brother onto himself. „This is called – **STYLE** \- .“

The atmosphere freezes, as a response from Sakusa stays missing for a few long, icy seconds. 

„I am not trading that. Please leave my store.“

Osamu and Atsumus eyes alike widen in shock.

„But you ordered them! It was really hard to get our hands on it!“ 

„Omi, you're just being mean now!!“

Sakusa sighs, but averts his gaze, locking them onto Kuroo and Bokuto now, who were quietly witnessing the whole scene, leaving the fox brothers looking at each other with disgruntled faces. 

„I have nothing to offer to you. Please leave.“

Those words cause Bokuto to squirm in silent despair. Kuroo didn't intend to leave it at that, or the store at all.

„Listen- I know we don't have to offer anything of your interest right now, but maybe we can make a deal? We could start to-- I don't know. Take over your classes from time to time?“

Sakusa tsk's loudly. 

„Isn't that the reason why you are here? I can't let you lead my classes, if you don't even know how to handle your own mate-problems.“

„But this is-- really specific, Sakusa.“ 

Kuroo walks towards the other arm-crossed demon, leaving the side of his best bro, to try to bargain out a deal for his help. 

Bokuto in the meantime looks more dejected than ever.

„Hey... psst.“, a quiet whisper sounds right next to his ear, while gentle fox-claws find their way onto Bokutos broad shoulders. Bokuto gives Atsuma a glance of „please not now.“, but Atsumu stays undeterred.

„I can see that you finally got your mark. What do you say? One of the fabrics for your first batch? I am sure your human will appreciate those new- stylish!- things!“

Bokuto's wings tremble, but he can keep himself contained. 

„You're not really trying to make me sell my virgin batch for human clothes right now, are you?“

Atsumu looks taken aback. He had never seen Bokuto so down, so quiet, so sharp in his observations. He knew the other demon as ' _let's-do-before-we-think_!'-type of guy, what made him easy to trick, but the fox-demon would lie, if he wouldn't see the other as some type of friend either, so it kind of pained him to see him like this. Not to speak of the destressed alpha-scent, which was less a sign of calling for help and more of something thick, threatening, trying to make other demons turn away. 

Osamu noticed the change of atmosphere and tackled into the side of his brother, making the blond one tumble to the ground with a high noise of protest in his throat.

„Whatever he said, please don't let it get to you. May I interest you in some products?“

Bokuto sighs and proceeds to wrap his own muscular arms around himself, trying to shut the others out.

„Oh man, whatever he said, I am really sorry, it must have been bad...“ Gray eyes roam over Bokutos face, before he shoots a nasty gesture into Atsumu's direction, then contiues. „You know what? Keep this.“

Osamu takes the ripped jeans out of the bag and hands them to Bokuto. 

„I think they could even fit you! But if you need them to get adjusted, I know a guy who is well-trained with human textiles.“ 

Bokuto blinks, life returning to his golden orbs.

„What... really? For me? Without anything in return?“

„Yea, I would like to know if you really mean it too, 'Samu.“, the fox-demons twin states with furrowed eyebrows, blonde tail whipping aggressively from left to right.

„Yes, I mean it. Keep them and your head up, Bokuto! And don't forget us, if you need more human textiles!“

Atsumu just squints his eyes at his brother, who only shrugs, then looks ahead again towards Sakusa, who was still arguing with Kuroo, patience long drained out of his dark eyes. 

„I really don't want to get violent. This is your last chance. Leave, or you will regret it.“, the curly-haired demon growls, atmosphere progressively filling with threatening scents. 

„We will leave, we will leave!“, the twins sing in unison, as Osamu grabs the bag and Kuroos arm, while Atsumu shoves a surprised Bokuto out of the stony store, jeans held tightly against his chest. 

„H- hey-!“, Kuroo interrupts angrily, as they stumble upon the full streets of the demon's marketplace, paths filled with thousands of different-typed demons, mostly alphas in search of a good deal.  
„I had that. You don't know how much we need Sakusa!“ 

„Ahhh, pffff-- Who needs that sour, wrinkled lemon anyway?“, Atsumu provides with a shrug, before ducking away from a thrown rock which came right out of Sakusa's store. 

„Leave or I will rip your tails off!!“ 

A threat, which was taken very seriously by the fox-brothers and so they continued to shove the other two demons with them down the street, away from the angry trading teacher.

They stopped at a lava fountain to rest next to its sizzling, hot presence.

„Sooo---“, Osamu started, before anyone else could say a word. „What seems to be the problem? Maybe we can help instead of Sakusa?“

Kuroo looks at them, eyebrows furrowed. „Everyone knows, that your deals always are kinda fishy. Why do you care? There is nothing that we can offer you anyway.“

„It's because Bokuto's got a mate now!“, Atsumu provides, smiling widely at the black-and-white-haired demon, revealing their not-so-selfless caring. „Okay, so maybe the virgin batch was a bit too much-- But we can easily obtain the information you need, if you promise us your... second or third batch? Mh?~“

Bokuto looks torn. „But... you don't even know what quality my bond with Akaashi may produce-- this trade could be unfair...“ He crumbles into himself further. "I might not even be able to make a full batch right now. He hates me."

The foxes stare in shock at each other, having stumbled over oh-so-hated-relationship-problems, that they always want to avoid at all costs.

„Ahhhh, Bokkun- don't be like that.“, Atsumu starts, Osamu continues. „Look at it as a friendship deal. We get whatever you need to know and you give us your second batch, without checking its quality, alright?“ „Don't be an alpha-pussy, comeeeeeeooooooon— OUCH-“ A flaming red cheek gets held, as the blonde fox pouts over the slap by his twin brother.

Kuroo only shakes his head, as he places a strong hand on Bokuto's shoulder. „Let's not do that, Bo- I still feel like that might be rigged.“

„You wound us!!“, Atsumu cries out, as he clutches his chest, copying Kuroo's gesture from before, while Osamu only sighs.

„I can understand why you don't trust us. I wouldn't either, if I weren't bound to that airhead next to me.“

A nasty snarl is thrown in Osamu's direction, but only another sigh escapes his lips. „Just let us know, if this deal is anything of worth to you. The offer doesn't run out. You will find us near the ice forests in a cave close to it's entrance, if we aren't here on the market place.“

They wait for both of the demons to nod, Kuroo more reluctantly than Bokuto, before they cut the talking off, wave and dash away through the crowd of other demons, leather bag bouncing on Osamu's back, before they both quickly vanish from sight.

Kuroo can only shake his head, dark hair falling deeper into his face.  
„I hope you really do not consider taking their-- OH!“  
The taller demon's eyes widen, as he sees his friend's legs covered in the blue textile, that he just put on, the button not being able to close properly due to the size of Bokutos genitals, but still fitting snuggly around his muscular legs.

„It's weird, but it somehow suits you really well! I think I know now what Atsumu meant, when he said the holes will give it more value or... style, or whatever.“, the dark-haired demon compliments the other with a smile, before bending down to inspect the ripped fabric. „I think I might just get myself one too.“


	7. Two Sides of a Coin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CW: suicidal thoughts

He sat down in the turquoise pondwater, letting his body soak up the heat. Bokuto hasn't returned yet, but Akaashi was thinking bitterly anyway, that he would be gone for another few days again, like he did before, fleeing from his responsibilities. And more bitterly did Akaashi think about the changes, that have happened to him and his body, albeit shocking, most of them being surprisingly positive.

Akaashi noticed himself getting stronger again. Despite not haven eaten anything in days, he felt after another long nap, like he'd have had a huge, delicious meal just before falling asleep, fueling his body and tempting him to get up, move around, maybe do some sports. It pissed him off beyond measures, even if he loved doing exercises- it seemed as if the horrible things that had happened to him get downplayed by the benefits of this „bodychange“, which only increased Akaashi's anger more and more.

Also his eyesight somehow seems to have gotten better. While without his glasses, everything close to his face was blurry, now he could see everything sharp and crisp, despite the dim light in the cave itself. He hated his glasses, not waking up and immediately being able to see clearly like in highschool, but right now he really wanted them back as a point of protest against everything and anything, especially against that demon.

' _Because you deserve to live, Akaashi_ '

That's what Bokuto had said. It made Akaashi's jaw clench, pressing his hands against his thighs, which he noticed earlier, are now free of each scar, he had left on them.

„As if he knows.“, he mutters under his breath, lower lip concentrated between white teeth. „As if..“

Another tense moment, then he let out a long and heavy breath, trying to relax.

At least his own thoughts seemed to not want to shoot against him today. Since the bodychange he had felt like a burden was lifted from his soul- like the pain of existing was split in two, even if he wanted to deny it.

Closing his eyes, he let himself sink deeper into the warm pond, starting to bubble, as his mouth was barely under the water surface like an angry, little puffer fish.

// _Why?_ //, he was thinking to himself again, this time for another reason though.

If Bokuto was really his soulmate and knew everything about the pain Akaashi couldn't control, why would he want the ex-editor to stay at his side? Akaashi knew that it was tiring to be with him. That it was exhausting to try to keep him close, as he usually pushed everyone away after some time, when they got too deep into his personal, inner turmoil.

Either, Bokuto didn't know everything in the end, or he was just stupidly naive, blind to the lie that the thought of „romantic soulmate“-stuff told to him.

How could he even remotely believe in such stupid nonsense?

Akaashi opened his eyes again, expression irritated and brooding, staring into the green-blue water in front of him.

// _But what if..._ // a voice inside himself started. // _What if this really was a chance? To become happy?_ //

Akaashi stood up abruptly, water splashing over the edge of the pond, fists clenched at his side.

„Ridiculous.“, he called himself once again. // _What is that- Some kind of stockholm syndrome stuff? I don't think so._ //

Upset with himself, he climbed out of the pond and stalked quickly towards the exit and into the other room, where he put his wet clothes over the table to dry. He had tried to wash them inside the turquoise bathwater and was sure, that they would be dry again after his own bath, considering the warmth inside the cave and the amount of time, that he had spent inside the water, but what he saw let his jaw drop.

The materials had dissolved. Violet yarn was lying loosely over the stone, where Akaashi had left his sweatshirt and dark trousers were only held together by knotted pieces of thread, just like his dark-matching boxers. The black-haired barely had the courage to touch what was once his clothes, not being able to understand what has happened to the last possession he had from home.

He wanted to curse out loud, but instead decided to suck in a deep breath, not letting himself come undone once again- he had had enough of that in the last few days.

While sitting down on the warm ground, arms wrapped around his naked knees, Akaashi tried to think of -why- the water of the pond made his clothes fall apart, but had at the contrary a soothing effect on his body. It probably really was some sort of healing water and made anyone or anything bathing in it return to an original, unaffected state. 

Akaashi's gaze roams for a second over his thighs. That would explain a lot, relaxing the ex-editors mind with a false feeling of "things making sense".

He sighs then, gets up again. He really would like to avoid meeting Bokuto naked. Or Kuroo, since the other seemed to invite himself in at the most random and unannounced times, so he started to walk towards the bed, pulling himself up on it and silently cursing, that his arms seem to have gotten stronger as well for whatever bullshit-reason.

He then rummaged through the blankets, feathers and fluffy materials, searching for something, that he could wrap around himself without fearing, that it might decide to magically strangle him like a Boa, reminding him of the first time waking up in this cave.

Akaashi just finished wrapping up his lower half with a blue blanket, which felt like warm water running over his skin, as he heard noises from up ahead.

He had noticed that Bokuto was silent, when he flies.

// _Just like owls._ // Akaashi thought bitterly once again, but something gave the demons return away, something that sounded like texture rubbing on texture. As Bokuto landed in the middle of the room, Akaashi was quick to notice, what had created the noise. The other was wearing jeans.

And not any kind of jeans- They were ripped jeans, signed with a golden LH thread on the back pockets, recently promoted by popular model Lev Haiba, who Akaashi silently followed on various social media platforms, only because he knew him from high school and actually was kind of proud of what the silver-haired boy had managed to achieve, even though he had barely talked to him during volleyball training camps. Akaashi never knew why he had joined the volleyball team in the first place.

Despite the slight curiosity of - where- Bokuto exactly got a jeans from the Haiba-collection, Akaashi could see, that the pants barely were held up, always colliding with Bokuto's demon tail, as the black-and-white-haired one tried to adjust his clothing and as he turned around to face Akaashi, the dark-haired noticed the second _huge_ problem, which made the jeans not want to stay in place, barely covered by the too-small textile.

He quickly averted his gaze, feeling Bokuto's nervous eyes on him.

„So-- how are you?“

„I'm fine.“

Bokuto winced at the cold tone in Akaashi's voice.

„That's... that's good! I am happy that you... your body-- has tolerated the change so well."

Akaashi wasn't responding,

„A-and that you-- that you aren't as upset as the other day, and--“, Bokuto was starting to stumble over his own words.

Akaashi still didn't react.

„Please...“, Bokuto's voice was tiny and small, not at all like the alpha he claimed to be. „Talk to me.“

Akaashi sighed inwardly, before jumping down from the bed onto the hard, stony ground. It didn't hurt at all, much to the human's surprise, but it didn't distract Akaashi from what he wanted to do either. He walked towards the demon, golden orbs filling with fragile hope, before he was standing right in front of him.

„What makes you think, that we will ever be mates, Bokuto-san?“

A question spoken with as much neutrality, as possible. Akaashi was proud, that his voice didn't waver even once.

Bokuto looked hurt all over again.

„Because we are... soulmates.“

„I don't think, that we are.“, Akaashi continues. „I think this is a construct made up by you demons to prevent the emotionally unstable ones of your kind feel the guilt, that they rightfully should feel.“

With every new word, Bokuto's hairstyle seemed to lose more and more volume and Akaashi could see the conflict in his mimic. As much as Akaashi hated to destroy the romantic thought of „flawless belonging together“, he had to do it to prevent anything developing further in the demon's wanted direction. Akaashi could see, that it reached its purpose.

„I am... sorry.“, Bokuto whispers. He truly looked like he was, scratching at the mark on his neck. But that didn't change any of the things, he had done, breathing growing heavier. „But I... did it for you...“

Blue-green eyes got colder, eyelids sinking deeper and brows furrowing further.

„You didn't, did you. You did it only for yourself. For the illusion, you wanted to force upon us. For the lie, you wanted to believe so desperately in, maybe for a happiness that seems so surreal and yet so close to your grasp, that you would do anything- would ruin anyones life for it. Am I right?“

Bokuto's eyes widen, voice still small. Akaashi could feel the other's doubt.

„What are you talking about?“

„You know, what I am saying. I am telling you the truth. You didn't save my life for ME. You did it for yourself and you are only trying to justify having taken MY choice by saying that it was for me. But I don't buy it, Bokuto. Not in the slightest.“

Now it was the demon, who had to deal with panic.

„That's not true, Akaashi-- It's not--“

The dark-haired man only squints his eyes, while crossing his arms and turning slightly away from the other demon.

„I don't care either way, Bokuto... Nothing you will say will ever change my mind. All I ask of you now is to... show me how to get around here...and then leave me alone. I realize I might not be able to get back to „my own world“, especially after everything that changed within my body... but that much you owe me.“ With these words, he fully turned away from Bokuto, not being able to see how the broken demon's sadness infront of him started to burn up in fury, but being able to feel it nonetheless.

And what he could feel too was a strange sensation burning in his neck- a shockwave of a controlling, strong scent, paired with a feeling of dominance radiating from the demon behind him, making him stumble in shock.

As Bokuto's voice reached his ears, he could barely recognize it as the soft and warm sound, he knew from the other, not even close to the voice he heard, when their opinions collided for the first time.

„Akaashi. Turn around and look at me.“

The human started to shake, feeling his breath catch in his lungs. He didn't want to, but he turned around anyway, something within him listening to the voice of the demon and making him look at him with fear and a weird sense of devotion.

Bokuto looked mad beyond anything, but Akaashi could see the rage fading slightly, as the white-and-black haired demon saw the confusion and fear in Akaashi's eyes.

„I wanted to avoid this so badly, Akaashi, because I know how much it hurts you, but... you are really, really stubborn. I truly did this all for you. And you have to believe me, trust me, no matter how many dark thoughts go through your brain. I forbid you to ever question that intention ever again, don't you dare think about it even! I am here to heal you, to make you want to enjoy existing again, because this is my duty as your soulmate and alpha. Do you understand?“

Akaashi nods shortly, shivering, not being able to look away and noticing a barrier forming in his brain, not really hurtful or disturbing, but he feels like not being able to access a certain memory or a specific space in his head anymore, though is quickly distracted, as he sees black tears spill suddenly from Bokuto's golden eyes.

„And I am sorry... for having done such a thing again.“

Akaashi feels the invisible grip on himself and his gaze disappearing, as he falls to his knees, folding in on himself, trembling and shocked over what has just happened. He can feel Bokuto's body heat cave in over him, his forehead resting on Akaashi's lower back, wings lowering to the ground, as if he was shielding him from the world.

„I... know... you are a strong-willed soul. It made you survive for so long through all of your lifes, but also... made you despise any helping hand, distrust anyone and anything, that is trying to get close to you. This is all so crazy to you, I really do understand... Especially after the bodychange, which must have hurt so bad, I can feel your distrust whereever I am, but I had to do that to you, because... I can't let you die again, 'kaashi-... I can't... see you suffer anymore, since you seem to attract bad fates. And I am sure, this is selfish to you... for me to not wanting to see you suffer... but in reality it's not selfish, not entirely. You humans see so much in black and white. Please... Akaashi... I promise you, I promise you with all I have... You will feel better again. Even if it means you will hate me forever, please...“

Akaashi didn't dare to move, feeling the tears of the demon running down the side of his back. He could only stare at the ground from where he is kneeling, feeling conflict in his brain for trying to access a spot and being denied every attempt.

„I swore to myself... that I would never use my alpha voice on you...“, a weak, trembling voice provides. „Now I am not better than my father... not in the slightest... But I... I didn't know any other way, 'kaashi.. If I would just wait, I am afraid you would just... decide to... ignore me forever. I can't live with that, you know? Can't live with... out you.“

Akaashi didn't understand. How can Bokuto claim he knows him so well, even dare to state that he wouldn't be able to live without Akaashi, if it's just been a week of true interaction, 90% of which was not positive at all? Did he miss something? Did Bokuto keep a secret, that goes beyond the entire stalking-guardian thing? Whatever it was, it wouldn't want to make sense to Akaashi's shaken core, but for some reason, he could believe in Bokuto's words for once. It didn't graze his personality in the slightest, but the sincerity in the demon's tears made Akaashi trust, that everything the demon said, was true.

A long, silent time passed, before Bokuto dared to move again, setting Akaashi free from his grasp. The dark-haired man slowly leaned up, trying to avoid looking at Bokuto's face directly, but couldn't keep his gaze away from this alien image- the other man's face flooded with black colour, similar to the ink on Bokuto's neck.

„I.. am sorry for making you cry.“, Akaashi states quietly, for whatever reason he was the one apologizing now, even making him say things out loud, he would have never dared to tell anyone else. „I know it's not what you want to hear, but I really wish... I wouldn't exist anymore. I am only causing pain.“ A cautious, trembling hand glides over Bokuto's blackened cheeks, trying to wipe away the tears and only smearing them in the process.

The demon seemed to appreciate the gesture a lot though, leaning into it after the initial surprise died down.

„That's where you are wrong, Akaashi. It's not you, who causes other people.. and yourself... pain.“

A clawed hand finds Akaashi's bare chest, pressing itself against his beating heart. „but the disease that clings to your soul. We will get through this, will get rid of it, I promise.“ And with those words, a comforting scent floods the atmosphere, letting Akaashi lean into the Demon's chest without a second thought.

How did their tense conversation end up here?

Probably like any conversation he would have had, if he had ever dared to call a friend for help or tell his parents, that he wanted to die, even if they wouldn't believe him at first, calling him weak. Tears prickled in Akaashi's eyes, the fear of the unknown, of not knowing how it is to be truly cared for. He knows, there will still be a lot that he needs to sort out in his head and reluctance about this entire situation will return eventually, but for the moment he is in Bokuto's arms, mark pulsating in warm comfort, he can forget it.

At least for now.


End file.
